Welcome to the second installment of Literary Pursuits. This is a monthly-ish feature of my blog intended to keep me honest about what I'm reading and writing. I last posted on March 1, and I missed my April 1 deadline by a few days. Oh well.
Anyway, here's where I stand with my reading:
1. Ingathering: The Complete People Stories by Zenna Henderson: Still slogging away on this one. It's a decent read, but I'll be happy when it's over and I can move on to other things. There are a lot of characters, many of whom are interrelated and not mentioned for multiple chapters at a time; it's tough to keep track when I'm only able to pick up the book for a few minutes every few days. I'm not abandoning it, though. I'm up to page 389 (up from 217 last month).
2. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte: Love having the classics on my phone for those random moments! I'm about halfway through chapter 16 (up from chapter 12 last month).
3. The Acts of the Apostles: I really need to get going on this one. My self-imposed deadline for publication of my "Gospel Agendas" bible study is the end of this month, and I can't edit the fourth session until I've reread this.
4. When "Spiritual But Not Religious" Is Not Enough by Lillian Daniel: I plan on writing a review for this book on Quiet Publications, but it's taking longer than I'd hoped. Not the book's fault; I've just gotten in the habit of reading my books for review on the stationary bike at the gym, and some things have gotten in the way of that lately. I'm currently on page 139 out of 215; I hope to finish soon.
Since last month I've finished reading How the Other Half Lives by Jacob A Riis and The Gospel According to Luke. I've decided to abandon Ethics by Dietrich Bonhoeffer for now. I'll pick that one up again when I'm not stretched so thin (whenever that mystical day may appear!).
And here's how I've progressed with my writing:
1. Quiet Devotions: My May 19 re-launch is bearing down on me, and I'm trying to get as many in the vault as I possibly can. I'm up to 85, which means I've written 27 since I last checked in. That's not a good start, since it's been 34 days. If I were already publishing, I'd be down 7. That's why I want so many in the vault before I begin!
2. Gospel Agendas Bible Study: I have finished rereading Luke's Gospel, but I haven't done any additional editing yet. DEADLINE APPROACHING! DEADLINE APPROACHING! GET TO WORK, KAREN!
3. Novel: I've actually made some good progress on this one, though I'm embarrassed to admit that the only way I can make time for it is by ditching the adult Sunday School at church and working on it while the kids are in their Sunday School class. My word count is now 8,423, so I've added 2,372 words in the last month. Stephen King advises writing at least a thousand words a day, but Stephen King never had my life. I'll take what I can get.
4. Memoir: I was putting a lot of work into this for a while, but have decided to slow down a bit. I need to let more time pass before I can even think about publishing it, so the pressure is off to get it done. I'll still work on it a bit while the memories are fresh, but mostly I'll be prioritizing my other projects. My current word count is 7,224, so I've added 763.
5. Quiet Publications Misc: Nothing active (other than the devotions) but another book review is coming soon.
6. Blog: I did a little better this month, with three original posts since the last Literary Pursuits. I've got two more planned (one of them sort of a meme, the other one original), and we'll just see where it goes.
7. Sermons: It's pulpit supply season! I've got two sermons due this month, and then sometime next month I'll begin covering a six-week paternity leave, so plenty more writing there.
Actually, when I add up the average length of my devotions, my novel, my memoir, and my four blog posts (including this one) my total word count since April 1 is 15,602, which averages out to 459 words per day, every day. It's still not King's 1,000, but it's nothing to be ashamed of, either.
What have you been up to?
Showing posts with label Leisure Activities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Leisure Activities. Show all posts
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Friday, March 1, 2013
Literary Pursuits - March 2013
I have a tendency to start projects and then, well, not finish them. It happens with crafts, books I'm reading, and writing projects. Since crafting is not a priority right now, my quilt, the kids' bedroom curtains, Naomi's dress, my sweater, and my latest afghan shall continue to languish in silent anonymity.
But I want to have better accountability with my reading and writing projects, and public humiliation seems as good a way as any to achieve that.
So as a (more or less) monthly feature of this blog, I'm going to post an update about my various literary pursuits.
First off, reading. It's been quite a while since I've only had one book going at a time. Currently I'm reading four-ish books (you'll understand the -ish when you get to it on the list). Most of this information is also on Goodreads, but I've decided to post it here, too.
1. How the Other Half Lives by Jacob A. Riis: First published in 1890 (yes, that's eighteen-ninety--I didn't transpose my numbers there) Riis chronicles his experiences in the tenement neighborhoods of New York. I love sociology and picked up this book eagerly, but while it's been informative (disturbingly so) it's also been a bit of a slog. I started reading it last summer, and I'm still working on it. Almost done, though. Currently on page 232. Hopefully this book will not appear on next month's installment of Literary Pursuits.
2. Ingathering: The Complete People Stories by Zenna Henderson: Recommended by my husband, this science fiction book has an interesting premise and is very well-written. However the chapters were originally independently published serials, and reading them one after the other is a bit tedious. It's a long book (571 pages) so I may be here for a while. I'm currently on page 217.
3. Ethics by Dietrich Bonhoeffer: I might have been a little premature picking up this one. I'm reading it partly because I've always wanted to, and partly because I'm planning to edit and publish a bible study I wrote several years ago based on themes in Bonhoeffer's Cost of Discipleship. I believe there's no such thing as too much Bonhoeffer, so I'm reading Ethics before I re-read Cost of Discipleship in an effort to better get into Bonhoeffer's thinking. It's very dense, but brilliant. I'm currently on page 41, though I haven't picked it up in over a month.
4. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte: A favorite I've read several times. I keep a library of classics on my Android so I'm never caught someplace without something to read, but my reading of a book this way is sporadic at best. Hard to say what page I'm on since phone versions are so variable, but I can say with confidence that I'm in chapter 12.
-ish. The Gospel According to Luke and The Acts of the Apostles: I'm trying to put a bible study I wrote last year into a format I can publish through Quiet Publications, and that's requiring me to go back and rework some of the lessons. Originally I had Luke-Acts as a single lesson, which was way too long. However separating them into two separate lessons has enabled me to expand my treatment of each slightly, so I'm rereading these two books to figure out how best to do that. (It's an -ish because they're part of the bible, which I'm not currently reading in its entirety. Or you could consider them two separate books in a single bound anthology. Or you could consider them one book in two volumes. Numbering it -ish was just easier!)
Now for what I'm writing.
1. Quiet Devotions: Last time I started Quiet Devotions, I only had six in the vault. With a daily publication schedule, I soon began to struggle to keep up. I fought stubbornly and kept it going for nearly ten months before I had to admit defeat. I plan to relaunch Quiet Devotions on Pentecost Sunday (May 19) and have been trying to write a few each week (minimum seven, preferably ten--I usually fall short). Currently I have 58 in the vault (up through July 15). Each month I'll indicate the number written since I last reported.
2. Gospel Agendas Bible Study: This is my reason for rereading Luke and Acts. I've completed the introduction, Session One, and Session Two. I'm currently expanding Sessions Three and Four.
3. Novel: I'm going to be vague on the details of this one until it's closer to being finished. My official word count is at 6,051, plus some handwritten pages in my travel notebook.
4. Memoir: This will chronicle my faith journey and ministry. Working title: Failed Pastor. You get the picture. Anyway, current word count is 6,461.
5. Quiet Publications Misc: I'm not working on anything this moment (other than the bible study), but I've recently published an article and two book reviews on Quiet Publications. I hope to continue doing that sort of thing on a somewhat regular basis.
6. Blog: Looking at my posts since the beginning of the year I see that I've been cheating by doing mostly memes or promotions for Quiet Publications. I'm in the process of revamping this blog (hence the new look), and it will soon have another new look, and a new address. But more on that later. In any case, it's time to start getting back here again a little more often, and letting all my adoring fans (go ahead and roll your eyes--I just did) know what's going on with me. This post you're reading now is a good start.
So those are my literary pursuits as they stand now. What are you reading or writing?
But I want to have better accountability with my reading and writing projects, and public humiliation seems as good a way as any to achieve that.
So as a (more or less) monthly feature of this blog, I'm going to post an update about my various literary pursuits.
First off, reading. It's been quite a while since I've only had one book going at a time. Currently I'm reading four-ish books (you'll understand the -ish when you get to it on the list). Most of this information is also on Goodreads, but I've decided to post it here, too.
1. How the Other Half Lives by Jacob A. Riis: First published in 1890 (yes, that's eighteen-ninety--I didn't transpose my numbers there) Riis chronicles his experiences in the tenement neighborhoods of New York. I love sociology and picked up this book eagerly, but while it's been informative (disturbingly so) it's also been a bit of a slog. I started reading it last summer, and I'm still working on it. Almost done, though. Currently on page 232. Hopefully this book will not appear on next month's installment of Literary Pursuits.
2. Ingathering: The Complete People Stories by Zenna Henderson: Recommended by my husband, this science fiction book has an interesting premise and is very well-written. However the chapters were originally independently published serials, and reading them one after the other is a bit tedious. It's a long book (571 pages) so I may be here for a while. I'm currently on page 217.
3. Ethics by Dietrich Bonhoeffer: I might have been a little premature picking up this one. I'm reading it partly because I've always wanted to, and partly because I'm planning to edit and publish a bible study I wrote several years ago based on themes in Bonhoeffer's Cost of Discipleship. I believe there's no such thing as too much Bonhoeffer, so I'm reading Ethics before I re-read Cost of Discipleship in an effort to better get into Bonhoeffer's thinking. It's very dense, but brilliant. I'm currently on page 41, though I haven't picked it up in over a month.
4. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte: A favorite I've read several times. I keep a library of classics on my Android so I'm never caught someplace without something to read, but my reading of a book this way is sporadic at best. Hard to say what page I'm on since phone versions are so variable, but I can say with confidence that I'm in chapter 12.
-ish. The Gospel According to Luke and The Acts of the Apostles: I'm trying to put a bible study I wrote last year into a format I can publish through Quiet Publications, and that's requiring me to go back and rework some of the lessons. Originally I had Luke-Acts as a single lesson, which was way too long. However separating them into two separate lessons has enabled me to expand my treatment of each slightly, so I'm rereading these two books to figure out how best to do that. (It's an -ish because they're part of the bible, which I'm not currently reading in its entirety. Or you could consider them two separate books in a single bound anthology. Or you could consider them one book in two volumes. Numbering it -ish was just easier!)
Now for what I'm writing.
1. Quiet Devotions: Last time I started Quiet Devotions, I only had six in the vault. With a daily publication schedule, I soon began to struggle to keep up. I fought stubbornly and kept it going for nearly ten months before I had to admit defeat. I plan to relaunch Quiet Devotions on Pentecost Sunday (May 19) and have been trying to write a few each week (minimum seven, preferably ten--I usually fall short). Currently I have 58 in the vault (up through July 15). Each month I'll indicate the number written since I last reported.
2. Gospel Agendas Bible Study: This is my reason for rereading Luke and Acts. I've completed the introduction, Session One, and Session Two. I'm currently expanding Sessions Three and Four.
3. Novel: I'm going to be vague on the details of this one until it's closer to being finished. My official word count is at 6,051, plus some handwritten pages in my travel notebook.
4. Memoir: This will chronicle my faith journey and ministry. Working title: Failed Pastor. You get the picture. Anyway, current word count is 6,461.
5. Quiet Publications Misc: I'm not working on anything this moment (other than the bible study), but I've recently published an article and two book reviews on Quiet Publications. I hope to continue doing that sort of thing on a somewhat regular basis.
6. Blog: Looking at my posts since the beginning of the year I see that I've been cheating by doing mostly memes or promotions for Quiet Publications. I'm in the process of revamping this blog (hence the new look), and it will soon have another new look, and a new address. But more on that later. In any case, it's time to start getting back here again a little more often, and letting all my adoring fans (go ahead and roll your eyes--I just did) know what's going on with me. This post you're reading now is a good start.
So those are my literary pursuits as they stand now. What are you reading or writing?
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Top 100 Movies
So another meme is making its way around the blogosphere, and in the absence of anything compelling of my own to publish, I thought I'd jump on this bandwagon too.
As the title of this post suggests, this is a list of my favorite 100 movies.
Only I couldn't quite come up with 100 movies I can call my favorite. Sure, there are more than 100 movies that I've enjoyed, but for a movie to make my list, it needs to be a) something that I still want to watch today, b) something that I'm badgering my husband to watch with me, or c) something that will be built into my kids' homeschooling curriculum. So to all those childhood and adolescent favorites--if I haven't spent the money to include you in my personal collection and I haven't put you in my Netflix queue, then thanks for the memories, but I've moved on, and I hope you will too.
Since my eyes tend to glaze over when confronted by a long list, I've broken it up by genre. Other than that, they're in alphabetical order (not because I'm really that anal, but because I accidentally sorted by the wrong column on the Excel spreadsheet where I prepared this. Because, yes, I am that anal). Trilogies are listed as a single entry, even when I'm omitting one of the installments.
I've begun with the movies that tend to show up on a lot of people's top 100 lists.
EMBRACE THE CLICHE
1. Back to the Future Trilogy
2. Casablanca
3. Contact
4. Gone With the Wind
5. Indiana Jones (Original Trilogy - NOT the latest travesty from 2008)
6. It's a Wonderful Life
7. Lord of the Rings Trilogy
8. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
9. Star Wars (Original Trilogy)
10. The Princess Bride
11. The Sixth Sense
12. Wizard of Oz
MUSICALS
13. A Chorus Line
14. Annie (1982)
15. Fiddler on the Roof
16. Labyrinth
17. Little Shop of Horrors
18. Mary Poppins
19. Oliver!
20. Sound of Music
21. Sweeney Todd (1982)
22. West Side Story
23. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
CHICK FLICKS (I can't believe I have so many in this category!)
24. A Room With a View
25. Bridget Jones' Diary
26. Far and Away
27. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
28. Romancing the Stone (first one only)
29. Shakespeare in Love
30. Terms of Endearment
31. Titanic
32. Under the Tuscan Sun
33. While You Were Sleeping
DRAMA
34. 28 Days
35. A Beautiful Mind
36. Forrest Gump
37. Out of Africa
38. Sleeping with the Enemy
39. The Color Purple
40. The Shawshank Redemption
41. White Nights
COMEDY
42. Clue
43. Foul Play (1978)
44. Much Ado about Nothing
45. My Cousin Vinny
46. The Court Jester
47. Victor / Victoria
KIDS (only half of these have been added since I had kids of my own; the rest have stood the test of time!)
48. A Christmas Story
49. Freaky Friday (1976)
50. The Incredibles
51. The Parent Trap (1961)
52. Toy Story 3
53. Wall-E
DIFFICULT (these aren't movies to be 'enjoyed' per se, but are important and should be watched at least once; some of them I've seen only once, and hope to never see again)
54. A Time to Kill
55. American History X
56. Batman Begins and The Dark Knight
57. Platoon
58. Saving Private Ryan
59. Schindler's List
CLASSICS (not already listed under another category)
60. Auntie Mame
61. Yours, Mine and Ours (1968)
ACTION
62. Hunt for Red October
63. Matrix (just the first one)
64. Terminator (1 and 2 only)
65. True Lies
HUBBY'S LIST (movies my husband thinks should be on this list even though I haven't actually seen them yet)
66. 1984
67. A Clockwork Orange
68. Blade Runner
69. Citizen Kane
70. Dr. Strangelove
71. Enemy Mine
72. Farenheit 451
73. Rollerball
74. Soylent Green
75. Westworld
MOVIES THAT HAVEN'T BEEN MADE YET BUT HOPEFULLY WILL BE GOOD ENOUGH TO ADD TO THIS LIST SOMEDAY
76 - 100.
You can tell a lot about a person by the movies they watch. I’m not sure I want to know what this list says about me.
I'm really more of a book person than a movie person anyway, so I'll be putting together a list of my top 100 books soon. I won't have any trouble coming up with 100 of those, though I promise to keep it down to 100 for your sake!
As the title of this post suggests, this is a list of my favorite 100 movies.
Only I couldn't quite come up with 100 movies I can call my favorite. Sure, there are more than 100 movies that I've enjoyed, but for a movie to make my list, it needs to be a) something that I still want to watch today, b) something that I'm badgering my husband to watch with me, or c) something that will be built into my kids' homeschooling curriculum. So to all those childhood and adolescent favorites--if I haven't spent the money to include you in my personal collection and I haven't put you in my Netflix queue, then thanks for the memories, but I've moved on, and I hope you will too.
Since my eyes tend to glaze over when confronted by a long list, I've broken it up by genre. Other than that, they're in alphabetical order (not because I'm really that anal, but because I accidentally sorted by the wrong column on the Excel spreadsheet where I prepared this. Because, yes, I am that anal). Trilogies are listed as a single entry, even when I'm omitting one of the installments.
I've begun with the movies that tend to show up on a lot of people's top 100 lists.
EMBRACE THE CLICHE
1. Back to the Future Trilogy
2. Casablanca
3. Contact
4. Gone With the Wind
5. Indiana Jones (Original Trilogy - NOT the latest travesty from 2008)
6. It's a Wonderful Life
7. Lord of the Rings Trilogy
8. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
9. Star Wars (Original Trilogy)
10. The Princess Bride
11. The Sixth Sense
12. Wizard of Oz
MUSICALS
13. A Chorus Line
14. Annie (1982)
15. Fiddler on the Roof
16. Labyrinth
17. Little Shop of Horrors
18. Mary Poppins
19. Oliver!
20. Sound of Music
21. Sweeney Todd (1982)
22. West Side Story
23. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
CHICK FLICKS (I can't believe I have so many in this category!)
24. A Room With a View
25. Bridget Jones' Diary
26. Far and Away
27. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
28. Romancing the Stone (first one only)
29. Shakespeare in Love
30. Terms of Endearment
31. Titanic
32. Under the Tuscan Sun
33. While You Were Sleeping
DRAMA
34. 28 Days
35. A Beautiful Mind
36. Forrest Gump
37. Out of Africa
38. Sleeping with the Enemy
39. The Color Purple
40. The Shawshank Redemption
41. White Nights
COMEDY
42. Clue
43. Foul Play (1978)
44. Much Ado about Nothing
45. My Cousin Vinny
46. The Court Jester
47. Victor / Victoria
KIDS (only half of these have been added since I had kids of my own; the rest have stood the test of time!)
48. A Christmas Story
49. Freaky Friday (1976)
50. The Incredibles
51. The Parent Trap (1961)
52. Toy Story 3
53. Wall-E
DIFFICULT (these aren't movies to be 'enjoyed' per se, but are important and should be watched at least once; some of them I've seen only once, and hope to never see again)
54. A Time to Kill
55. American History X
56. Batman Begins and The Dark Knight
57. Platoon
58. Saving Private Ryan
59. Schindler's List
CLASSICS (not already listed under another category)
60. Auntie Mame
61. Yours, Mine and Ours (1968)
ACTION
62. Hunt for Red October
63. Matrix (just the first one)
64. Terminator (1 and 2 only)
65. True Lies
HUBBY'S LIST (movies my husband thinks should be on this list even though I haven't actually seen them yet)
66. 1984
67. A Clockwork Orange
68. Blade Runner
69. Citizen Kane
70. Dr. Strangelove
71. Enemy Mine
72. Farenheit 451
73. Rollerball
74. Soylent Green
75. Westworld
MOVIES THAT HAVEN'T BEEN MADE YET BUT HOPEFULLY WILL BE GOOD ENOUGH TO ADD TO THIS LIST SOMEDAY
76 - 100.
You can tell a lot about a person by the movies they watch. I’m not sure I want to know what this list says about me.
I'm really more of a book person than a movie person anyway, so I'll be putting together a list of my top 100 books soon. I won't have any trouble coming up with 100 of those, though I promise to keep it down to 100 for your sake!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Cutting the Distractions
About a year ago I tracked my time for five weeks and reported the results in my post What Do You Do All Day? I'm feeling the need to do that again, because once again I'm feeling slammed-to-the-wall busy while simultaneously wondering why I don't seem to be accomplishing anything.
I've been wanting to do this for a while, but it seems like there's always something 'special' going on that's going to skew my time in a misleading way. For example, I don't plan to start until sometime after next week, because next week I'll be bringing my kids to VBS, which means four nights of not cooking supper (which I usually do) and of following a completely different routine from what we do every other week of the year. Back in June there was the five-day retreat I took at a Benedictine Monastery, which would have totally skewered my numbers.
But looking over the post from last year, I can already see some areas where I'm going to fall down. Mindless computer time leads that list. I'm spending way too much time playing stupid Facebook games. In preparation for my next attempt at better time management, I've gone ahead and disabled the applications platform on Facebook, which means not only can I not play the games, I can't even see the posts about my friends' game activity. Sorry, friends, but something's gotta give. I lost Bejeweled Blitz to the need to wear two wrist braces continuously, and I just don't have time for Bubble Safari or Hidden Chronicles anymore. I'm also completely failing at exercise, so I'm going to try to pick that up again before I start logging my time. Please believe me that I'm doing these things not to make my time logs look better, but because I'm genuinely trying to manage my time better, and I don't need a detailed log to know that these things have to change if I'm going to live my priorities.
So what are my priorities?
Taking care of my family still ranks first. This means spending quality time with my husband and kids, individually and as a family. It means preparing healthy meals for them. It means having regular homeschooling sessions with my kids (I've been pretty haphazard about it so far).
Professional development as a writer ranks second. Last time I did this I was talking about wanting to be a writer, but I wasn't really writing anything except this blog, plus editing some old sermons to send off to DesperatePreacher.com. Now in addition to those two things, I'm writing daily devotions at Quiet Publications, plus entering several writing contests. I'm also trying to reformat some bible studies I've written so I can make them available for sale at Quiet Publications, and I've got a couple of short nonfiction book ideas I want to develop for that site. And then there's the novel. And the memoir. Realistically I know I can't possibly do all that, and I'm going to have to pick one or two things to focus on and put the rest on hold, but for now I'm trying to do it all so I can see which of these projects really inspires my passion.
Self care? I feel obligated to put this one in my top three, but I don't have very high hopes for it. Don't get me wrong; it's not that I don't want self care to be a priority, it's just that it seems like a luxury I can't really afford right now. I realize that's short-term thinking, and if I want to achieve my long-term goals (or, more specifically, live to have long-term goals) I'd better make it a priority. So there it is, and I'll do what I can. For the purposes of this project, self care will include exercise, time with friends, and down-time (reading for pleasure or watching TV that I choose, opposed to what my kids choose).
The wild card is going to be my continuing education. I've been accepted into a year-long unit of Clinical Pastoral Education, which is going to take up twelve hours a week from September through April, plus commuting time (about an hour each way). It's part of my effort to become a certified chaplain, which is a long-term goal. It very easily could push its way into my top three (most likely squeezing out self care), and I may eventually have to choose between it and writing. I hope not, but it's a possibility I have to consider. As much as I hate to admit it, chaplain is kind of my back-up plan in case writing doesn't start bringing in some money. I want to be a writer. I'm willing to be a chaplain. If I have to start helping out with the bills (a real possibility in this economy) what I want to do may have to take a backseat to what I have to do. I'm nothing if not pragmatic. But it's also part of the reason why I'm putting such a push on writing now; I'd really like it to start paying some bills. But in the meantime, I'm trying to pick up three more unites of CPE, one unit at a time.
These are my priorities. When I log, I'm going to pay attention to mindlessness (mindless games, mindless websurfing, etc) because I don't really get a benefit from those things. That's not to say that all my self care has to be intellectually challenging; rereading the entire Harry Potter series is on my short-list of things to do, and I certainly don't consider that to be challenging. But it's not mindless, either. Escapist fiction that I intentionally sit down to read is a lot different from random websites that distract me from whatever it is I should be doing.
It will be interesting to see if I'm living according to my stated priorities. It will also be interesting to see where my time is going; I really don't feel like I'm accomplishing much most days.
I've been wanting to do this for a while, but it seems like there's always something 'special' going on that's going to skew my time in a misleading way. For example, I don't plan to start until sometime after next week, because next week I'll be bringing my kids to VBS, which means four nights of not cooking supper (which I usually do) and of following a completely different routine from what we do every other week of the year. Back in June there was the five-day retreat I took at a Benedictine Monastery, which would have totally skewered my numbers.
But looking over the post from last year, I can already see some areas where I'm going to fall down. Mindless computer time leads that list. I'm spending way too much time playing stupid Facebook games. In preparation for my next attempt at better time management, I've gone ahead and disabled the applications platform on Facebook, which means not only can I not play the games, I can't even see the posts about my friends' game activity. Sorry, friends, but something's gotta give. I lost Bejeweled Blitz to the need to wear two wrist braces continuously, and I just don't have time for Bubble Safari or Hidden Chronicles anymore. I'm also completely failing at exercise, so I'm going to try to pick that up again before I start logging my time. Please believe me that I'm doing these things not to make my time logs look better, but because I'm genuinely trying to manage my time better, and I don't need a detailed log to know that these things have to change if I'm going to live my priorities.
So what are my priorities?
Taking care of my family still ranks first. This means spending quality time with my husband and kids, individually and as a family. It means preparing healthy meals for them. It means having regular homeschooling sessions with my kids (I've been pretty haphazard about it so far).
Professional development as a writer ranks second. Last time I did this I was talking about wanting to be a writer, but I wasn't really writing anything except this blog, plus editing some old sermons to send off to DesperatePreacher.com. Now in addition to those two things, I'm writing daily devotions at Quiet Publications, plus entering several writing contests. I'm also trying to reformat some bible studies I've written so I can make them available for sale at Quiet Publications, and I've got a couple of short nonfiction book ideas I want to develop for that site. And then there's the novel. And the memoir. Realistically I know I can't possibly do all that, and I'm going to have to pick one or two things to focus on and put the rest on hold, but for now I'm trying to do it all so I can see which of these projects really inspires my passion.
Self care? I feel obligated to put this one in my top three, but I don't have very high hopes for it. Don't get me wrong; it's not that I don't want self care to be a priority, it's just that it seems like a luxury I can't really afford right now. I realize that's short-term thinking, and if I want to achieve my long-term goals (or, more specifically, live to have long-term goals) I'd better make it a priority. So there it is, and I'll do what I can. For the purposes of this project, self care will include exercise, time with friends, and down-time (reading for pleasure or watching TV that I choose, opposed to what my kids choose).
The wild card is going to be my continuing education. I've been accepted into a year-long unit of Clinical Pastoral Education, which is going to take up twelve hours a week from September through April, plus commuting time (about an hour each way). It's part of my effort to become a certified chaplain, which is a long-term goal. It very easily could push its way into my top three (most likely squeezing out self care), and I may eventually have to choose between it and writing. I hope not, but it's a possibility I have to consider. As much as I hate to admit it, chaplain is kind of my back-up plan in case writing doesn't start bringing in some money. I want to be a writer. I'm willing to be a chaplain. If I have to start helping out with the bills (a real possibility in this economy) what I want to do may have to take a backseat to what I have to do. I'm nothing if not pragmatic. But it's also part of the reason why I'm putting such a push on writing now; I'd really like it to start paying some bills. But in the meantime, I'm trying to pick up three more unites of CPE, one unit at a time.
These are my priorities. When I log, I'm going to pay attention to mindlessness (mindless games, mindless websurfing, etc) because I don't really get a benefit from those things. That's not to say that all my self care has to be intellectually challenging; rereading the entire Harry Potter series is on my short-list of things to do, and I certainly don't consider that to be challenging. But it's not mindless, either. Escapist fiction that I intentionally sit down to read is a lot different from random websites that distract me from whatever it is I should be doing.
It will be interesting to see if I'm living according to my stated priorities. It will also be interesting to see where my time is going; I really don't feel like I'm accomplishing much most days.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Priorities
A couple of weeks ago I blogged about my daily schedule, and where all my time goes. In that post I expressed my desire to better manage my time, make some positive changes, etc. While I haven't yet begun keeping a new timesheet to monitor my progress, I do know one thing: it's not working.
There simply aren't enough hours in the day, and I'm trying to do too much. I want to be a good wife, a good mother, a writer, take time to exercise regularly, and still give myself some free time to just relax and recharge. We're planning on moving again, once we can get out of this lease, so I have to start organizing things in the house to make that a little easier when the time comes. Much of what I'm doing I can't let go of. My marriage--like everyone's--need's work. My kids are very young, and need a lot of attention. Exercise is very important for my continued existence on this earth, and I'll suck at everything if I reduce what little down time I have now. Which leaves writing.
I've always wanted to be a writer. I wrote my first poem and my first short story when I was six years old. I wrote my first novel in high school. (None of it's ever been published, and that atrocious novel never will be.) I have a number of nonfiction books I'd like to write, and a new novel is living fully formed in my imagination. But I don't have time to sit down and write any of it. I've found that what little writing time I do have is going towards this blog.
I started this blog on a whim, and it's been fun. But it's taking more time than I believe it's worth. I'm not completely giving up on it, but I'm going to switch to posting on it only when I feel inspired, rather than every Tuesday morning (or, lately, afternoon) as I originally intended. If you've been following me regularly, thank you, and please continue to do so, but also please be patient if it's a while between posts.
Until we meet again!
There simply aren't enough hours in the day, and I'm trying to do too much. I want to be a good wife, a good mother, a writer, take time to exercise regularly, and still give myself some free time to just relax and recharge. We're planning on moving again, once we can get out of this lease, so I have to start organizing things in the house to make that a little easier when the time comes. Much of what I'm doing I can't let go of. My marriage--like everyone's--need's work. My kids are very young, and need a lot of attention. Exercise is very important for my continued existence on this earth, and I'll suck at everything if I reduce what little down time I have now. Which leaves writing.
I've always wanted to be a writer. I wrote my first poem and my first short story when I was six years old. I wrote my first novel in high school. (None of it's ever been published, and that atrocious novel never will be.) I have a number of nonfiction books I'd like to write, and a new novel is living fully formed in my imagination. But I don't have time to sit down and write any of it. I've found that what little writing time I do have is going towards this blog.
I started this blog on a whim, and it's been fun. But it's taking more time than I believe it's worth. I'm not completely giving up on it, but I'm going to switch to posting on it only when I feel inspired, rather than every Tuesday morning (or, lately, afternoon) as I originally intended. If you've been following me regularly, thank you, and please continue to do so, but also please be patient if it's a while between posts.
Until we meet again!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
What Do You Do All Day?
Back when I was single and working a full-time job, I used to dream of getting married and 'just' being a full-time mom. Aside from the obvious desire to share my life with someone and raise children, I really liked the idea of just staying home all day. All the things I'd be able to do then! All the books I'd read, the crafts I'd make, and the fun things I could do with my kids--if only I could stay home all day.
Well, now I'm married and home with my kids all day, and I can't figure out where the time goes. I feel like I'm super-busy, but I can't really point to anything I've accomplished at the end of each day. My house isn't as clean as it used to be, I have less time for reading, almost no time for crafts, and TV is something the kids watch when I really need to get something else done.
I really wanted to know where my time was going, so I ran a little experiment. Starting in late June and going throughout July, I kept a log of everything I did each day for five weeks, divided into fifteen minute increments (yes, I really am that anal). Unfortunately it was a handwritten log, and I didn't try to do anything with the data until I had it all. It's taken me nearly two months to find the time to do my data entry and analysis.
But anyway, here we are, and the first thing I have to say is: thank goodness for multitasking! I kept track of when I was doing something with all my attention, as well as when I was doing multiple things at once. When I added up how much time I spent doing things, I came up with a total of 1,066.75 hours of activities. There are only 840 hours in a five-week period. That means I actually did six weeks, two days, ten hours, and forty-eight minutes worth of activities in five weeks. That averages out to needing 30 hours and 28 minutes to do what I need to do each day. No wonder I'm tired all the time!
At first glance, it looks like I spend 637 hours, or 59.7% of my time, doing one thing at a time, and 429.75 hours, or 40.3% of my time multitasking. But that's misleading, because by definition one can't sleep while multitasking, and I spent 264.5 hours (or 24.8% of my time) sleeping or trying to sleep. (I'm a chronic insomniac, so much of that time was spent trying to sleep, but it's impossible to break out how much time was spent trying, and how much time was spent actually sleeping. If I had to guess, I'd say at least a quarter of that time was trying to sleep.) If you just look at my waking hours, I spent only 372.5 hours (or 34.9% of my time) doing one thing at a time. Without multitasking, I'd be lost.
So what did I spend all my time doing? Well, we already know that sleeping or trying to sleep accounted for 24.8%. That wasn't what I spent the most time doing, however. Taking care of my kids took up 24.9% of my time, and spending time with my husband came in third at 19.3%. But it's interesting how those numbers broke out. Of the 265.25 hours I spent with my kids, 174 of them (or 65.6%) were spent multitasking, while the other 91.25 hours (or 34.4%) were spent doing nothing else but taking care of them. On the other hand, of the 206.25 hours I spent with my husband, for 126 of them (or 61%) my attention was entirely on him, and I only multitasked for 80.25 hours (or 38.9%) with him. So while my kids get more time with me overall, my husband gets more focused time with me than they do.
Taking care of my family and trying to sleep accounts for 69% of my time. Self care (the combination of personal hygiene, reading for pleasure, personal 'alone' time, attending worship, spending time with friends, and exercising) accounts for 6.9% of my time. Professional development (research and writing) accounts for 6.2% of my time, and I waste (watching TV or mindlessly surfing the web) 5.3% of my time. Some of that is a little misleading, because I'm sure some of the time I called 'research' really should have been categorized under 'mindless web surfing.' Also, nearly half the time I logged as 'exercising' (9.25 hours) was actually spent driving to and from the gym. That leaves me with 12.6% of my time to cook, clean, eat, run errands, manage the household finances, manage my husband's company's finances, and do crafts, plus write sermons and lead worship if I'm called to fill in for a vacationing pastor (which I did four of the five Sundays included in my log). That's three hours and fifty minutes per day of my 30 hour, 28 minute long days.
It's been interesting to see if how I spend my time matches up with my stated priorities. Overall, the answer is yes, because my family is my top priority, and I spend 44.2% of my total time (or 58.8% of my waking hours) engaging with them. On the other hand, I see some areas I need to fix. I don't have enough hours in the day to waste 5.3% of my time on mindless web surfing or TV. And I'd like to be able to spend more time writing. While 6.2% might be the best I can do right now, that was two-thirds research to one-third writing. I think much of my 'research' is just an excuse, and I need to reverse that ratio. I also need to spend more time on self-care. You can't see it in the averages, but a lot of my personal time was grouped together in large blocks every few weeks, because I just burned out and shut down, and had to hole up while my husband took care of the kids. I need to be more intentional about taking time for me and doing something that I find enjoyable (like reading for pleasure) rather than mindlessly wasting time. I've already begun to exercise a lot more.
I think I'm going to run this experiment again. In addition to the changes I want to make or have already made, some things are different now than they were in June. For one thing, now that the fall programming has begun, I'm no longer being called for pulpit supply nearly every week, so I actually get to worship again. However, this does cut down on my personal time, because I was taking some time for myself after church rather than going straight home. Now I've got the kids with me at church. Also in July, my husband and I attended Readercon 22, which resulted in two solid days where I didn't interact with my kids at all, and my husband got a lot of one-on-one time with me (my 'research' category got a bump, too). That kind of weekend is extremely rare. Another change is that my son no longer naps in the afternoon, and I'm experimenting with bringing my daughter down to one nap. Additionally I've begun homeschooling my son, so he's getting more one-on-one time than he was over the summer. All of this conspires to take away more of my self-care time, which I really can't let happen.
I'll keep a log for four or five weeks again, and see how it compares. I think the only real change I'll make is that 'driving' will become it's own separate category, since that adds anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and a half to whatever I'm doing outside the house, and inflates the amount of time I log exercising or worshiping.
It is a bit tedious keeping the log (and even more so analyzing it) but I highly recommend doing this if you feel like you're not getting anything done, or if you're not sure if your actions agree with your stated priorities. And as for getting all that time to read, make crafts, and do fun things? I guess now I'm looking forward to being an empty-nester.
Well, now I'm married and home with my kids all day, and I can't figure out where the time goes. I feel like I'm super-busy, but I can't really point to anything I've accomplished at the end of each day. My house isn't as clean as it used to be, I have less time for reading, almost no time for crafts, and TV is something the kids watch when I really need to get something else done.
I really wanted to know where my time was going, so I ran a little experiment. Starting in late June and going throughout July, I kept a log of everything I did each day for five weeks, divided into fifteen minute increments (yes, I really am that anal). Unfortunately it was a handwritten log, and I didn't try to do anything with the data until I had it all. It's taken me nearly two months to find the time to do my data entry and analysis.
But anyway, here we are, and the first thing I have to say is: thank goodness for multitasking! I kept track of when I was doing something with all my attention, as well as when I was doing multiple things at once. When I added up how much time I spent doing things, I came up with a total of 1,066.75 hours of activities. There are only 840 hours in a five-week period. That means I actually did six weeks, two days, ten hours, and forty-eight minutes worth of activities in five weeks. That averages out to needing 30 hours and 28 minutes to do what I need to do each day. No wonder I'm tired all the time!
At first glance, it looks like I spend 637 hours, or 59.7% of my time, doing one thing at a time, and 429.75 hours, or 40.3% of my time multitasking. But that's misleading, because by definition one can't sleep while multitasking, and I spent 264.5 hours (or 24.8% of my time) sleeping or trying to sleep. (I'm a chronic insomniac, so much of that time was spent trying to sleep, but it's impossible to break out how much time was spent trying, and how much time was spent actually sleeping. If I had to guess, I'd say at least a quarter of that time was trying to sleep.) If you just look at my waking hours, I spent only 372.5 hours (or 34.9% of my time) doing one thing at a time. Without multitasking, I'd be lost.
So what did I spend all my time doing? Well, we already know that sleeping or trying to sleep accounted for 24.8%. That wasn't what I spent the most time doing, however. Taking care of my kids took up 24.9% of my time, and spending time with my husband came in third at 19.3%. But it's interesting how those numbers broke out. Of the 265.25 hours I spent with my kids, 174 of them (or 65.6%) were spent multitasking, while the other 91.25 hours (or 34.4%) were spent doing nothing else but taking care of them. On the other hand, of the 206.25 hours I spent with my husband, for 126 of them (or 61%) my attention was entirely on him, and I only multitasked for 80.25 hours (or 38.9%) with him. So while my kids get more time with me overall, my husband gets more focused time with me than they do.
Taking care of my family and trying to sleep accounts for 69% of my time. Self care (the combination of personal hygiene, reading for pleasure, personal 'alone' time, attending worship, spending time with friends, and exercising) accounts for 6.9% of my time. Professional development (research and writing) accounts for 6.2% of my time, and I waste (watching TV or mindlessly surfing the web) 5.3% of my time. Some of that is a little misleading, because I'm sure some of the time I called 'research' really should have been categorized under 'mindless web surfing.' Also, nearly half the time I logged as 'exercising' (9.25 hours) was actually spent driving to and from the gym. That leaves me with 12.6% of my time to cook, clean, eat, run errands, manage the household finances, manage my husband's company's finances, and do crafts, plus write sermons and lead worship if I'm called to fill in for a vacationing pastor (which I did four of the five Sundays included in my log). That's three hours and fifty minutes per day of my 30 hour, 28 minute long days.
It's been interesting to see if how I spend my time matches up with my stated priorities. Overall, the answer is yes, because my family is my top priority, and I spend 44.2% of my total time (or 58.8% of my waking hours) engaging with them. On the other hand, I see some areas I need to fix. I don't have enough hours in the day to waste 5.3% of my time on mindless web surfing or TV. And I'd like to be able to spend more time writing. While 6.2% might be the best I can do right now, that was two-thirds research to one-third writing. I think much of my 'research' is just an excuse, and I need to reverse that ratio. I also need to spend more time on self-care. You can't see it in the averages, but a lot of my personal time was grouped together in large blocks every few weeks, because I just burned out and shut down, and had to hole up while my husband took care of the kids. I need to be more intentional about taking time for me and doing something that I find enjoyable (like reading for pleasure) rather than mindlessly wasting time. I've already begun to exercise a lot more.
I think I'm going to run this experiment again. In addition to the changes I want to make or have already made, some things are different now than they were in June. For one thing, now that the fall programming has begun, I'm no longer being called for pulpit supply nearly every week, so I actually get to worship again. However, this does cut down on my personal time, because I was taking some time for myself after church rather than going straight home. Now I've got the kids with me at church. Also in July, my husband and I attended Readercon 22, which resulted in two solid days where I didn't interact with my kids at all, and my husband got a lot of one-on-one time with me (my 'research' category got a bump, too). That kind of weekend is extremely rare. Another change is that my son no longer naps in the afternoon, and I'm experimenting with bringing my daughter down to one nap. Additionally I've begun homeschooling my son, so he's getting more one-on-one time than he was over the summer. All of this conspires to take away more of my self-care time, which I really can't let happen.
I'll keep a log for four or five weeks again, and see how it compares. I think the only real change I'll make is that 'driving' will become it's own separate category, since that adds anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and a half to whatever I'm doing outside the house, and inflates the amount of time I log exercising or worshiping.
It is a bit tedious keeping the log (and even more so analyzing it) but I highly recommend doing this if you feel like you're not getting anything done, or if you're not sure if your actions agree with your stated priorities. And as for getting all that time to read, make crafts, and do fun things? I guess now I'm looking forward to being an empty-nester.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Open Letter to the Extroverts, Morning People, and Other Obnoxiously Cheerful People at my Gym
I don't mean to be rude, but back off and leave me alone.
I realize you're trying to be friendly and encouraging, but your bright and cheerful, "Good morning, are you ready for another workout?" the second I walk in the door is like nails on a blackboard for me.
I am not a morning person. Yes, it's 10:30 AM, but if it were up to me, I'd still be in bed right now. I'm also a chronic insomniac, so chances are I'm going on five hours or less of sleep right now. I know you don't have insight into my life before I walk through the gym's front door, but you should be able to see by my half-open eyes, my dirty pony-tailed hair, and my total lack of effervescence that no, I'm not particularly ready for another workout. I've only had--at most--two thirds of my morning coffee (sometimes less than that), and I'm dragging along two toddlers, one of whom also is not a morning person and with whom I've probably already had at least one battle this morning. Between the battle, the lack of sleep, and the reduced caffeine intake, I probably have a pounding headache, but I haven't taken any ibuprofen because I need to be aware of how my muscles feel during my workout so I don't accidentally hurt myself.
Add to that the depression I've been fighting, and the fact that I'm here at all is a major accomplishment. So forgive me if I have nothing left to generate phony enthusiasm for another workout.
So why am I here if this is my attitude about the whole thing? Look at me. I'm some not-to-be-published number of pounds overweight, and clearly I'm not here because I've embraced the fitness lifestyle that you have. Simply and starkly put, I'm trying to not die. Workouts don't energize me; they exhaust me. Both the cardio and the strength training are very difficult for me--not challenging in the YOU-GO-GIRL-LOOK-AT-ALL-THE-PROGRESS-YOU'RE-MAKING kind of way; difficult like the oh-please-somebody-kill-me-now-am-i-done-yet kind of way.
So I'm not trying to be rude or a killjoy or anything when I answer your gleeful "Are you ready for another workout?" with a monotonous "Sure, why not." Nor am I looking to dump all my problems on you when I answer your exuberant "Feeling good?" on my way out with an exhausted "I'm hanging in there." I simply don't have the energy left to lie to you or match the excitement you have and that you clearly think I should have as well.
This doesn't mean that you can't be friendly; just understand that I'm not in the place you are. Don't ask me questions in such a way that also conveys the answer you expect to hear. If you aren't really willing to hear the truth, then don't ask me questions at all. A polite "Good morning, have a good workout" would help establish a welcoming presence without my having to lie, feign joy, or otherwise expend precious resources on answering beyond "Good morning, thank you." I'm good with that!
I often tell my kids, "You don't have to like it; you just have to do it." Well I'm here, I'm doing what I need to do, and I'm putting everything I've got into it. But I don't have to like it, and I'm not going to pretend that I do for your sake.
I realize you're trying to be friendly and encouraging, but your bright and cheerful, "Good morning, are you ready for another workout?" the second I walk in the door is like nails on a blackboard for me.
I am not a morning person. Yes, it's 10:30 AM, but if it were up to me, I'd still be in bed right now. I'm also a chronic insomniac, so chances are I'm going on five hours or less of sleep right now. I know you don't have insight into my life before I walk through the gym's front door, but you should be able to see by my half-open eyes, my dirty pony-tailed hair, and my total lack of effervescence that no, I'm not particularly ready for another workout. I've only had--at most--two thirds of my morning coffee (sometimes less than that), and I'm dragging along two toddlers, one of whom also is not a morning person and with whom I've probably already had at least one battle this morning. Between the battle, the lack of sleep, and the reduced caffeine intake, I probably have a pounding headache, but I haven't taken any ibuprofen because I need to be aware of how my muscles feel during my workout so I don't accidentally hurt myself.
Add to that the depression I've been fighting, and the fact that I'm here at all is a major accomplishment. So forgive me if I have nothing left to generate phony enthusiasm for another workout.
So why am I here if this is my attitude about the whole thing? Look at me. I'm some not-to-be-published number of pounds overweight, and clearly I'm not here because I've embraced the fitness lifestyle that you have. Simply and starkly put, I'm trying to not die. Workouts don't energize me; they exhaust me. Both the cardio and the strength training are very difficult for me--not challenging in the YOU-GO-GIRL-LOOK-AT-ALL-THE-PROGRESS-YOU'RE-MAKING kind of way; difficult like the oh-please-somebody-kill-me-now-am-i-done-yet kind of way.
So I'm not trying to be rude or a killjoy or anything when I answer your gleeful "Are you ready for another workout?" with a monotonous "Sure, why not." Nor am I looking to dump all my problems on you when I answer your exuberant "Feeling good?" on my way out with an exhausted "I'm hanging in there." I simply don't have the energy left to lie to you or match the excitement you have and that you clearly think I should have as well.
This doesn't mean that you can't be friendly; just understand that I'm not in the place you are. Don't ask me questions in such a way that also conveys the answer you expect to hear. If you aren't really willing to hear the truth, then don't ask me questions at all. A polite "Good morning, have a good workout" would help establish a welcoming presence without my having to lie, feign joy, or otherwise expend precious resources on answering beyond "Good morning, thank you." I'm good with that!
I often tell my kids, "You don't have to like it; you just have to do it." Well I'm here, I'm doing what I need to do, and I'm putting everything I've got into it. But I don't have to like it, and I'm not going to pretend that I do for your sake.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Time Well Lost
My internal clock is scary-accurate. On those (extremely) rare occasions when I'm not wearing my watch and my son needs five minutes in a time-out corner, my estimate of five minutes is usually accurate within a few seconds. I'll drive my husband crazy when we've just turned out the light for the night, and I'll say something like, "What time is it? 11:37?" And he'll check and then reply (rather crankily), "No, it's 11:36." Actually, that's how he used to answer. Now he's more likely to say, "Oh, shut up."
This accuracy comes from a lifetime of constantly checking my watch or keeping an eye on the clock. Even if I have nowhere I need to be and nothing going on later, I still need to know what time it is. (This is why I have to ask my husband if it's 11:37--he removed the clock from my nightstand because he got tired of hearing the minute-by-minute account of how poorly I'd slept the night before, what time I woke up, how long before I fell back to sleep, etc.). I don't know why it's so important for me to always know what time it is, but it is, and it always has been.
But every once in a while, I'll actually forget to mark time. It's an extraordinarily rare occurrence, but it does happen. And it happened this past Saturday.
I was bringing the kids to Hampton Beach to meet a friend I hadn't seen for several years. She'd never met them, and I'd wanted to introduce them to the beach anyway. We left the house at 11 AM, and I figured we'd arrive around noonish. I didn't anticipate the traffic. At 1 PM, when we finally crossed the New Hampshire border, I pulled over at a rest stop to use the facilities, call my friend, and have a picnic lunch with the kids. We got back on the road at about 1:45 (OK, it was 1:47). We arrived at the condo where my friend was staying at 2:15, unloaded all the accessories (two small children come with lots of those!), then went in search of a parking spot. One mile, twenty dollars, and thirty minutes later, the car was parked and the kids, the double stroller and I joined our stuff and my friend at the condo. It took nearly forty-five minutes for me to get myself and the kids in our swim suits and well covered with sunscreen. The beach was only a short walk away, so it was 3:30 when we laid down our blankets.
Then I did what I'd been dreading all day. I took off my watch and put it in my beach bag. Then I walked about fifty yards to the wet sand that was cooler and much more fun for the kids to play with. No watch, no clock. I was on my own.
My friend and I talked while the kids played. The sun beat down on us, and after a while I went back to our blankets to get some water. And check my watch. I'd guessed we'd been there for about an hour. I was right--it was 4:30 exactly. I put my watch back in my bag and went back to the group, where my son was splashing in the small pool my friend had dug for him and my daughter was doing her best to become one with the sand. Completely.
An hour later I saw the lifeguards take down their chairs and lay them against the wall near the sidewalk. I knew it was an hour because it had felt like an hour, and I'd seen the sign on the way in stating that the lifeguards were on duty until 5:30 PM.
And then it happened.
At some point after the lifeguards left my son announced that he wanted to go back to the condo. My friend rinsed all their toys in the ocean, and I rinsed the kids in the little pools we'd dug in the wet sand. We returned to the blankets, shook them out, packed them up, and went back to the condo. Once there I herded the kids into the bathroom and stuck them both in the shower, t-shirts, bathing suits, and all. They weren't happy. It took as long as it took, and when they were reasonably salt- and sand-free, I sent them into the living room so I could have my turn in the shower. I think I took a quick one, but I could be wrong.
After that, the kids and I hung out while my friend took her turn. By that time I was wearing my watch again and sitting in front of a clock. I remember looking at it a few times, but the positions of the hands didn't register. I didn't care, and I didn't notice that I didn't care. When my friend was ready, we went out in search of dinner.
We found one at a nearby restaurant, where we had a very enjoyable meal. When we were done my friend returned to the condo to retrieve the double-stroller, so I could introduce my kids to that staple of Hampton Beach cuisine--Blink's Fry Doe. Not surprisingly, they're now fans.
Having accomplished all that I'd wanted to accomplish that day, we got the car and were driving back to the condo to drop off my friend and pick up the kids' accessories when my cell phone rang. It was my husband. He was worried about me, because he'd expected me home a while ago. I started to laugh until I realized--it was full dark outside, and it had been for a while. I looked at the clock in the dashboard, and was astonished. "Is it really 9:20?!" I asked. Both he and my friend assured me that it was. I'd completely lost track of time.
I can't say exactly what it was about Saturday after the lifeguards left that made me forget to care what time it was. It wasn't just that I was relaxed and having a good time; I do do that sometimes, and I still need to check my watch obsessively. But I liked being freed from the schedule, especially with the kids. We had things to do, and we did them, and it took as long as it took. I know I can't live every day like that, but I certainly hope to do it more often than I have been. Especially with the kids. My son is three, and every time he sees a clock, he asks me, "Mama, what time is it?"
This accuracy comes from a lifetime of constantly checking my watch or keeping an eye on the clock. Even if I have nowhere I need to be and nothing going on later, I still need to know what time it is. (This is why I have to ask my husband if it's 11:37--he removed the clock from my nightstand because he got tired of hearing the minute-by-minute account of how poorly I'd slept the night before, what time I woke up, how long before I fell back to sleep, etc.). I don't know why it's so important for me to always know what time it is, but it is, and it always has been.
But every once in a while, I'll actually forget to mark time. It's an extraordinarily rare occurrence, but it does happen. And it happened this past Saturday.
I was bringing the kids to Hampton Beach to meet a friend I hadn't seen for several years. She'd never met them, and I'd wanted to introduce them to the beach anyway. We left the house at 11 AM, and I figured we'd arrive around noonish. I didn't anticipate the traffic. At 1 PM, when we finally crossed the New Hampshire border, I pulled over at a rest stop to use the facilities, call my friend, and have a picnic lunch with the kids. We got back on the road at about 1:45 (OK, it was 1:47). We arrived at the condo where my friend was staying at 2:15, unloaded all the accessories (two small children come with lots of those!), then went in search of a parking spot. One mile, twenty dollars, and thirty minutes later, the car was parked and the kids, the double stroller and I joined our stuff and my friend at the condo. It took nearly forty-five minutes for me to get myself and the kids in our swim suits and well covered with sunscreen. The beach was only a short walk away, so it was 3:30 when we laid down our blankets.
Then I did what I'd been dreading all day. I took off my watch and put it in my beach bag. Then I walked about fifty yards to the wet sand that was cooler and much more fun for the kids to play with. No watch, no clock. I was on my own.
My friend and I talked while the kids played. The sun beat down on us, and after a while I went back to our blankets to get some water. And check my watch. I'd guessed we'd been there for about an hour. I was right--it was 4:30 exactly. I put my watch back in my bag and went back to the group, where my son was splashing in the small pool my friend had dug for him and my daughter was doing her best to become one with the sand. Completely.
An hour later I saw the lifeguards take down their chairs and lay them against the wall near the sidewalk. I knew it was an hour because it had felt like an hour, and I'd seen the sign on the way in stating that the lifeguards were on duty until 5:30 PM.
And then it happened.
At some point after the lifeguards left my son announced that he wanted to go back to the condo. My friend rinsed all their toys in the ocean, and I rinsed the kids in the little pools we'd dug in the wet sand. We returned to the blankets, shook them out, packed them up, and went back to the condo. Once there I herded the kids into the bathroom and stuck them both in the shower, t-shirts, bathing suits, and all. They weren't happy. It took as long as it took, and when they were reasonably salt- and sand-free, I sent them into the living room so I could have my turn in the shower. I think I took a quick one, but I could be wrong.
After that, the kids and I hung out while my friend took her turn. By that time I was wearing my watch again and sitting in front of a clock. I remember looking at it a few times, but the positions of the hands didn't register. I didn't care, and I didn't notice that I didn't care. When my friend was ready, we went out in search of dinner.
We found one at a nearby restaurant, where we had a very enjoyable meal. When we were done my friend returned to the condo to retrieve the double-stroller, so I could introduce my kids to that staple of Hampton Beach cuisine--Blink's Fry Doe. Not surprisingly, they're now fans.
Having accomplished all that I'd wanted to accomplish that day, we got the car and were driving back to the condo to drop off my friend and pick up the kids' accessories when my cell phone rang. It was my husband. He was worried about me, because he'd expected me home a while ago. I started to laugh until I realized--it was full dark outside, and it had been for a while. I looked at the clock in the dashboard, and was astonished. "Is it really 9:20?!" I asked. Both he and my friend assured me that it was. I'd completely lost track of time.
I can't say exactly what it was about Saturday after the lifeguards left that made me forget to care what time it was. It wasn't just that I was relaxed and having a good time; I do do that sometimes, and I still need to check my watch obsessively. But I liked being freed from the schedule, especially with the kids. We had things to do, and we did them, and it took as long as it took. I know I can't live every day like that, but I certainly hope to do it more often than I have been. Especially with the kids. My son is three, and every time he sees a clock, he asks me, "Mama, what time is it?"
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