Did You Fall Off the Planet or Something?

No, actually I didn't.  Though with my last blog post being nearly six weeks old, I can understand how one may have come to that conclusion.

So what have I been doing?  Well, first off, my husband and I went into overdrive looking for a new home, so I was checking the MLS rental listings daily and Craigslist several times a day.  Not expecting much (good thing, too!) I also checked in to see what was for sale in southern New Hampshire, and only received further confirmation that the housing market is still delusional.  We went to look at several (rental) properties, most of which left us thinking, "Yeah, it could probably work," but pretty unenthusiastic overall.  However Craigslist did come through for us, and we found a beautiful home in Nashua that met all our requirements.  Office space for Tom, playroom for the kids, two-car garage for Tom, even space for me to have an office/craft room!  Walking through it with the then-tenants Tom quietly asked me what I thought of it, and I answered without hesitation, "I love it--I want this house!"  Tom apparently felt the same way, because he transmitted our already-filled-out-and-scanned rental application to the owner from his phone before we even left the house.  We were approved (cats and all), and then had to pack up the old house and plan our move here, which we accomplished nearly two weeks ago.  We're still moving the last of our crap valuable belongings here, and I think settling in is going to be a months-long process.  But we've got a home now, not just a house, and one with a fenced-in backyard which has enabled me to experience the joy of saying to my kids, "Just go out and play!"

On the writing side of things, I've been spending most of my time and effort keeping up with my Quiet Devotions blog, which is a daily devotional based on one of the lectionary readings for that day.  The key word is 'daily,' and, with the move especially, it's been all I can do to keep up with it.  I'm also planning on moving that blog over to the Quiet Publications website, which I'm still building and where I'll eventually be publishing other articles and selling bible studies, worship resources, and perhaps some books I've written (will write).  So yes, I've been spending time building the Quiet Publications website, too.

I'm also stealing some time here and there writing one of those bible studies that will eventually be offered for sale, but it's a priority right now because the idea for it came from the women's retreat I attended last November.  Some of the women and I were talking one day, and one of them went on a bit of a rant about John's gospel, which led to me making an offhand comment that they all found fascinating, which led to a brief conversation about why the gospels were written, which led to them informing me that I had to teach a bible study on that, which led to me writing a bible study called 'Gospel Agendas,' which I'll be teaching at my church sometime after Easter.

Oh yes, I've also been the primary caregiver for a two- and a three-year old.

Hopefully things will stabilize a bit here soon, and I'll get back to writing the next installment in my series on Christian Families, Motherhood, and Womanhood.  Until then, though, thanks for sticking with me, and watch for news about Quiet Publications.

Dear Real Estate Industry

You're mad at us, I know.  I can tell by the tone of the e-mail our realtor sent to my husband in response to our announcing that we're withdrawing our offer on the house we looked at last month.  Our realtor suggested (though never actually stated) that we were being unreasonable, and attempted to shame us into changing our mind by assuming that we were withdrawing our offer because we were not actually qualified for a mortgage and have "strung along the seller and the bank" all this time.

Here's the thing.  This house was a short sale.  It's been on the market for a year, and in that time has dropped its price by nearly $100K.  Even with that, the house was still overpriced, and we offered $15K less than the current asking price (a number which we still think is generous, considering that the house will need about $50K worth of repairs in the next five years).  But before we made the formal offer, we asked our realtor to find out from the seller if they would be willing to consider a low-ball offer, because we didn't want to waste anybody's time.  We were told to make the offer, and they would consider it.

This is my third time buying a home.  I've sold three already.  In every case, the initial offer was either accepted, countered, or rejected pretty quickly, and any acceptance was contingent upon the buyer securing their financing.  Yes, our offer was slightly higher than our pre-approval, but our mortgage broker didn't think that should be much of a problem and told us that once we had an accepted P&S he'd get to work at formally processing our mortgage for the entire amount.  He was operating under the same assumption I was: first comes the offer, then the acceptance, then the financing.  That's the way real estate transactions have worked for a long time, excepting some transactions where the sellers state up front that proof of funding must accompany all offers (this transaction was not advertised as such).

Our offer gave the sellers and their bank two weeks to approve our offer.  The sellers did their part in a day.  Their bank let the offer expire with no action.  We only found this out after we called our realtor on the day it was to expire to ask for an update.  He had nothing, because he hadn't been following up.  Acknowledging that those two weeks included Christmas, we extended the deadline on our offer until the middle of January.  This time our realtor called us on his own initiative the day the offer was to expire, to tell us that the bank hadn't done anything yet but that the sellers had hired an attorney to try to move things along.  The attorney called us a little while later and gave us a more detailed update: the bank wouldn't accept our offer until they'd appointed a negotiator, which he was optimistic would happen the following week.  After that, things should move much more quickly.  We decided not to formally extend the deadline of our offer, which gave us the option of pulling the plug at any time, or letting it ride and moving forward with it should the bank accept our offer later.  For the time being, we decided to let it ride.

A week later we got another call from the seller's attorney.  The bank still hadn't appointed a negotiator.  They needed more information before they would do so, and it could still be a few weeks.  An e-mail from our realtor informed us that some of what bank required was proof of financing and an addendum to the P&S stating that we would close within 60 days of approval.

We were fed up.  After failing to simply accept or decline an offer for a month and missing two contractual deadlines, the bank was demanding we guarantee a quick closing that would hinder our ability to fully inspect and assess the property, plus demanding proof of financing up front?  The whole thing reminded my husband of the scene in Empire Strikes Back when Darth Vader tells Lando Calrissian, "I am altering the deal.  Pray I don't alter it any further." 

Our realtor was offended at our offense, and informed us that "the bank is and has been working in a timely fashion...it is corporate America and procedure."

Well, corporate America, you have stated your terms, and we choose not to accept them.  Like Lando Calrissian, we believe this deal is getting worse and worse all the time, so we're getting out while we still can.

I don't care if you're mad at me, Real Estate Industry.  It's a sad day when a seller has to hire an attorney to get the bank to act on processing an already-approved short-sale.  It's an even sadder day when a buyer trusts the seller's attorney more than she trusts her own real estate agent.

I believe in honor, diligence, and good faith adherence to contractual obligations.  We have shown that.  So have the actual sellers of the house.  Real Estate Industry, you have not.  Your attempts to shame us have failed, because we cannot be shamed by an entity that itself has none.  Send us back the deposit we made in good faith, and go play your games with someone else.  If the game can only be played by your rules, then we choose not to play.  Despite what you may think and what you may want, we actually do have that option.

Have a nice day, and may the Force be with you.

Housing Prices Still Not Making Sense

My husband and I are looking to buy a decent house in a decent neighborhood for a reasonable price, but we're having trouble finding such a thing.  There are decent houses in decent neighborhoods, but their prices are not reasonable.  For all that housing prices have fallen over the past few years, I believe that they still have further to go.

How can I say this when houses have already lost anywhere from 20 to 60% of their values?  Because they were inflated to more than that during the bubble, and incomes haven't risen significantly over the last decade.

Here's the thing.  According to the Wall Street Journal, a household shouldn't plan to spend more than 28% of its gross monthly income on mortgage/property taxes/maintenance/PMI.  (This is a fairly common rule of thumb.)  In 2000, the median household income in Nashua, NH (where we're looking) was $51,969.  Let's assume that household also had a monthly debt load of $500 (between car payments, student loans, and credit card minimum payments), and savings sufficient to put down 20% of the purchase price.  Using the Wall Street Journal's mortgage calculator, that household income would qualify to purchase a home that cost up to $141,365*.  In 2000, the median house in Nashua only cost $132,200, so the average household could purchase the average house, and then some.  In 2009 (the most recent year covered by city-data), the median household income in Nashua had risen to $58,789.  Using those same assumptions, that household could purchase a home that cost up to $181,942*.  That's a problem, since the average house in Nashua in 2009 cost $248,500.  In order for the average household to purchase the average house at that price, the median household income would need to be closer to $69,000.  Even assuming our household is completely debt free, the maximum house they could afford would be $205,997, still well below the median.  Neither housing prices nor incomes have changed much since 2009.

As much as sellers and realtors don't want to admit it, a house (or anything else, for that matter) is only worth what a purchaser will pay for it.  As long as the average house is out of reach for the average purchaser, it's overpriced.  Unless incomes go up significantly in the very near future, housing prices still have a ways to fall.  In Nashua, it's looking like another 27%.

Maybe my husband and I are better off continuing to rent for now.


* I assumed a 30 year fixed mortgage at 8% in 2000 and 5.5% in 2009, both of which are historically accurate.  The tax rate was roughly 2.1% in both years.

Not Such a Simple Question

Where are you from?

It seems like such a simple, basic, innocuous question.  Where are you from?

What is the information sought by asking this question?  Does the asker want to know where I was born?  Where I live currently?  What city/state/region/country/continent/planet plays a major role in defining my identity?

I've struggled frequently when asked this question.  Most of my life has been spent in the Boston area, and how I've answered this question has depended on the zip code I was physically standing in when I was asked.  If I was somewhere in the Boston area and I was asked the question, I usually answered with the name of the city or town I resided in at that moment.  If I was anywhere outside of the greater Boston area, I answered by saying, "I'm from Boston," even though I've never actually lived in Boston proper.  I've lived in places temporarily (summer jobs or internships out of state), and I've lived in places where the culture was so discordant with my own that I felt I had to explain myself: "Well, I live in such and such, but I'm actually from there and so."  I lived in one place (South Dakota) where my state of origin (Massachusetts) was so distrusted that I answered with the name of the state I'd lived in most recently (Iowa).  [Even though I'd long since lost my accent and probably could have passed for an Iowan, my internship supervisor ratted me out!]

So here's the long answer to the question of where I'm from (partly to document the insanity of my life, and partly to attempt an honest answer to the question above).  To keep this to a reasonable length, this is a list rather than a narrative.  Each listing indicates a separate address.  (If I lived there for at least three months, even if I had another residence, it made the list.  If I lived there for less than three months, but had my mail sent there and had no other address, it also made the list.  Different dwellings on the same college campus are listed separately, because if I had to pack up my crap and move it, it counts, dammit!)

CHILDHOOD
1. Arlington, MA
2. Arlington, MA
3. Arlington, MA
4. Arlington, MA
5. Providence, RI (one semester)
6. Amherst, MA (one semester)

ADULTHOOD
7. Arlington, MA
8. Arlington, MA
9. Arlington, MA (same as #7--my first attempt at solo living failed and I moved back home)
10. Somerville, MA
11. Everett, MA
12. Acton, MA
13. Shirley, MA
14. Leominster, MA
15. Leominster, MA
16. Allston, MA
17. Ferryville, WI (summer only)
18. Dubuque, IA
19. Binford, ND (summer only)
20. Dubuque, IA
21. Bloomington, IL (summer only)
22. Edgemont, SD
23. Dubuque, IA
24. Perry Hall, MD
25. Perry Hall, MD
26. Ocean Springs, MS
27. Medford, MA
28. Revere, MA
29. Marshfield, MA
30. Nashua, NH
31. Dubuque, IA
32. Moville, IA
33. Big Flats, NY
34. Harvard, MA

OK, I need to take a moment to go and cry a little bit. [sob, sniffle, sob]  I'm back.  No wonder I have such a visceral reaction to boxes!

Anyway, the truth is that all of these places have played a part in who I am, and have helped me discover who I'm not.  There are places on that list that I remember fondly, and there are others that I'll go out of my way to avoid ever going near again.

My current residence in Harvard is not permanent, but hopefully it's not short term, either (I know, I've said that before!).  And hopefully our next move will be the last one, and still in this general area.  Because if you ask me now, "Where are you from?" I answer simply; I answer proudly.

I'm from Boston.